It’s been a year since I felt nothing. I didn’t feel life, happiness, joy, sadness, sorrow. Nothing. All was bland. Many opportunities came that I was not ready for. And many I took only to be ashamed because of my lack of knowledge. I was dull, not taking care of myself, not eating food or taking any responsibility.
But for the past week, I have been getting back on track. I take care of myself, try to eat my food properly, say no to my addictions and so on. And while doing so, I still felt I lacked something that I had before. And this was toughness. In the past, I was tough. I knew why I must do something. But presently, I feel less tough.
Even though this scares me, I remind myself that I can change this and I can become tough again. But why, how, and what?
So, here is something that I followed to get better at toughness:
- Define what toughness means to you?
- And act on it no matter what.
- Define what toughness is you?
While trying to become tough, I faced many challenges – decision-making, emotional discipline, habitual discipline, pleasing others, being scared to fight, putting my point forth, and saying no.
These were some of them. But these challenges are mine. They are mine, in the end, to be conquered. I tried taking a page on toughness from another book, but that did not work for me at all. It only made me feel more demotivated.
Taking a page from another’s book is like putting aside your challenges and walking someone else’s path, which will only lead you to a goal that is not yours. And on top of that, you are uninvited on this path, which builds more challenges for you that try to push you on your path.
So, first, define what toughness is to you?
Is it making hard decisions? Is it making choices that no one else is making? Is it saying no? Is it facing your fears? Is it walking away from something? Is it walking towards something?
- Act on what toughness is to you no matter what?
Now comes the challenging part. As Mel Robbins said, “It’s simple but not easy.” The same goes for you. Being tough is acting on actions is simple. You just have to say no or yes to what you decided not to do and do.
You have to stick to it. It is hard but simple. Remind yourself that you are conscious of your actions. Find something that works for you to keep you conscious.
Once you find what toughness is to you, act on the steps that you have decided to take.
- Make to-do lists and act on them.
- Wake up when you decide to.
- Work out when you decide to.
- Do things that you said you would do.
And these are all private victories that need to be won.
In conclusion, decide what being tough to you is. This is something personal, and it does not have to match to others. Act on what you have decided to do. Stick to the plan.
Hope this helps you on your journey!
Life Design 